From Depression to Deep Satisfaction, R.S.

I grew up in a Christian family in Fullerton, California. In my sophomore year of high school I found out something about my physical body that really devastated me. As a result of this I became quite depressed about myself and I searched for something that would satisfy me and make me happy. Often after school I would stay in the library and look at popular teenage magazines about fashion and beauty. However the more I looked at these magazines the more depressed I got about myself. I felt that I would never attain the standard of “beautiful” that the magazines portrayed. Often before I went to bed I would cry to the Lord because of my physical problem and ask Him why He had to make me that way.

The only real satisfaction and refuge I had during high school was meeting with the believers in the local church and reading The Life-study of Genesis by Witness Lee. Often after school I would sit down and read one chapter. I felt like the words in the book spoke reality to me and they talked about the real situation of mankind. Moreover, after reading one simple chapter I felt so happy. I was not depressed at all, as I had been after looking at the fashion magazines. On the contrary I experienced a deep satisfaction.

With respect to the meetings of the local church, every Saturday night we had a high school gathering to sing and learn about the Lord and the Bible. My mom made a comment once that I was always so happy after those meetings that I would hug her. I truly felt joy and Christ became so satisfying to me in each of these gatherings. In no other place have I felt so much satisfaction of the Lord as I have in the local church.

What the world could not provide in terms of satisfaction, the Lord has supplied superabundantly through my reading books by Witness Lee and by meeting with the brothers and sisters in the local churches. I will be forever grateful to the Lord for those sources of supply.